


Dirty Little Secret

by purplemonster



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sort Of, Sugar Daddy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:08:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplemonster/pseuds/purplemonster
Summary: All Junmyeon wanted was a low profile booty call. Someone he can spend a few bucks on from time to time. But Sehun had turned from a dirty little secret to a Forbes top ten lister. How does he deal with that?





	Dirty Little Secret

Sehun has done it again.

Kim Junmyeon is standing there in the middle of the studio’s parking lot taking in the sight in front of him and thinking how Oh Sehun has done it again.

He takes out his phone and calls him. They talked about this. But he should’ve known better than to trust that Sehun actually understood what they talked about or just ignored all of it. It’s usually the latter.

Sehun’s phone rings a few times and he picks it up with a bright and cheery hello. Junmyeon spares him any greeting and gets right to it.

“Why are there six food trucks outside my filming location?” Junmyeon asks, trying not to sound like he’s hissing. A few of his co-actors are in line in one of the food trucks for some coffee. They wave at him and mouth their thanks. Junmyeon smiles, hoping it doesn’t look like he was cringing instead.

“They finally arrived!” Sehun exclaims from the other end of the line. “How’s the crowd? Are they liking it so far?”

“Sehun-”

“Or wait, don’t tell me they didn’t. Was it the waffles? Or was it the churros? Did they not like the churros?”

If only Sehun can see his eyes rolling. Junmyeon turns his back on the sight of the food trucks as he walks to his trailer.

“That is beside the point. Six food trucks???” Junmyeon hisses now. “And a huge signboard with your name on it-”

“Congratulations! Your last day of filming. I’m so proud-”

“Everyone has been asking me who you are-”

“Try the waffles. Those are my favorite.”

“And why you sent me all these food trucks. What am I supposed to say?” Junmyeon wrenches his trailer doors open, makes sure no one else is inside, gets in and slams the door shut.

“Tell them your boyfriend sent it to celebrate your last day of filming and as thanks for treating you so well.”

Junmyeon takes a deep breath. “Sehun, for the hundredth time, you are not my boyfriend.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s only the forty fifth time.”

“Sehun-“

“Oh, look! Jongin is here!” Sehun cuts. “And I need him to do that thing I’ve been meaning to tell him to do. Gotta go!”

“Sehun!” Junmyeon gives one last shout before Sehun ends the call which Junmyeon knows he did on purpose. Spotting his secretary was only an excuse.

He sighs, staring outside the window. Damn it, Sehun. Once he steps out of here, a dozen questions are going to be all up in his face and he can bet that a lot of them are going to be about who Sehun is and why he sent Junmyeon food trucks.

He reads Sehun’s message of congratulations atop one of them with his name signed at the bottom. There really isn’t no escape, is there? Junmyeon takes a deep breath and steps out of the trailer. He’ll just have to brave the questions until filming is over.

If there’s anything out of this though, it’s that he has to hand it to his “boyfriend”: he really gets things done in style.

 

 

No, Sehun isn’t his boyfriend. Junmyeon has never thought of him that way. The 25 year old and youngest CEO of one of the biggest businesses in the country is not Junmyeon’s boyfriend.

In fact, he is Junmyeon’s nothing. They are not friends. They are not co-workers. They are not roommates (even if Sehun does spend most of his nights at his place). They’re not even neighbors.

They are nothing but each other’s booty call and not a day goes by that Junmyeon doesn’t remind him of that fact.

But Sehun never really got that. He calls Junmyeon his boyfriend and uses the term every chance he gets. He also likes to call Junmyeon his sugar daddy to which Junmyeon always laughs off or snorts or cringe. It depends on the situation. But between being his boyfriend or being his sugar daddy, Junmyeon doesn’t deny the latter because he actually does like spoiling Sehun to no end.

But that was before. Before Junmyeon even knew Sehun was loaded way more than he was. Before all that CEO label. Sehun was just some college student he bumped into a club while he was in one of his rebellious nights off. His manager had pressured him into keeping a low profile from the press but Junmyeon had had enough. He felt stifled being in the entertainment industry even if he had a lot to learn back then. But off to the club he went to blow off some steam. And Sehun was just conveniently there, conveniently flirting his way over to him on the dance floor and conveniently giving him the best blowjob he’s ever had in his life in a bathroom stall.

It was his face. And his body. And yeah, his mouth. Junmyeon knew he would get in trouble with his manager for hooking up with someone and for even seeing the boy again but he didn’t care. Sehun was his dirty little secret. He frequented the bar where they’d hook up every week. Until they migrated from the bathroom stall to luxurious hotel rooms and his condo as their “relationship” progressed.

Sehun said he was fine with it. He was so easy to please and Junmyeon loved taking him to expensive places. They were private and exclusive. Fans couldn’t spot them and they could do anything they wanted. Junmyeon had him all to himself.

Junmyeon was only five years older than him but boy did Sehun make him feel old whenever they hung out. That amused Junmyeon to no end and maybe that’s why he kept him. Sehun was sexy and funny. He made Junmyeon feel young in bed. He’d be damned to let go of someone like that.

And then Sehun graduated and Junmyeon had no idea when he became CEO that fast. There had been news of Sehun’s father retiring early. It had been the most talked about business news in the country but Junmyeon never really paid any attention to those things. He was just surprised to find Sehun upgrading from his usual sneakers and jeans to tailored pressed suits and Oxfords. From commuting to owning a Mercedes. And Junmyeon had the shock of his life when Sehun took him out to dinner at a five star restaurant and slid Junmyeon’s card aside afterwards because he was paying.

It was no longer Junmyeon who was spoiling him but the other way around. And that should have done it. That should have made Junmyeon break things off, even if they never really labeled whatever they were doing. All he wanted was a low profile booty call. Someone he can spend a few bucks on from time to time. But Sehun had turned from a dirty little secret to a Forbes top ten lister. Junmyeon didn’t want that.

But try as he might, Sehun made it hard for him to break things off every single day. He wasn’t clingy, but he always knew what to do. He woos Junmyeon to no end with gifts. He showers Junmyeon with expensive treats. Not that he needed all those things. Junmyeon could very well afford them himself. But he also fucks Junmyeon like no other has done better and that alone has all of Junmyeon’s coherent thoughts fly out the window after every mind blowing orgasm.

It really has to stop. Junmyeon can’t afford to be caught in a “dating scandal”, which fans call dating news these days. He can’t have more of the limelight. He’s been branded the most eligible bachelor in his thirties and the top actor in the entertainment scene. Fans have been hounding him day and night. Men and women at work have been showing interest and asking him out on dates, to which Junmyeon always politely declines. Having Sehun in the picture would add more attention to his life, and not to mention, Sehun’s life as well.

But it’s getting harder and harder to end things with him. Like right now for instance. Junmyeon has just gotten home and he’s greeted by a barrage of kisses from Sehun that he can’t seem to run away from.

“We need to talk.” Junmyeon manages to say in between gasping for air and kissing Sehun back. He missed him. Even if he is annoyed at him for the food trucks. Even if he is thinking of breaking things off with him tonight, like all other nights.

“Hmmm, later.” Sehun only responds, wrapping Junmyeon closer to him. Junmyeon can smell his cologne and he presses himself up to Sehun’s broad chest, loving the way it feels against his.

He’s distracted, as always. But the gravity of the situation that happened earlier has Junmyeon collecting his thoughts quick and he finally pries himself off of him just so he can look into his eyes. Which he realized is a wrong move for Sehun’s eyes is all hazy and filled with want. Fuck. He hates that look. Junmyeon is weak for that look. How does Sehun even look at him like this after all these years?

“Sehun, it’s about the food trucks.” Junmyeon starts. “Six food trucks. Don’t you think that was way over the top?”

“Would you have preferred one more?” Sehun blinks at him. He’s being cute. But Junmyeon isn’t going to succumb to his charms at the moment.

“I would have preferred nothing. You know that.”

Sehun tips his chin up so that Junmyeon’s lips is close to his, an adorable pout already forming on Sehun’s face. He may be younger, but Sehun towers over him, something that turns Junmyeon on whenever he gets all right up in his face like this.

“Do we really need to talk about it?”

“Y-yes.” Junmyeon curses himself under his breath for stammering.

Sehun holds his stare a moment longer and then sighs. “Alright, I gather it’s going to be a long conversation but I can’t wait.” Sehun wets his lips as he stares at Junmyeon’s mouth. “Let me have my way with you first and then we can talk about it. Please?”

Junmyeon’s not sure whether it’s the please or the fact that Sehun just said all that out loud or because the boy just fucking licked his lips like he was some sort of meal to be devoured. In all honesty, that was cheesy in Junmyeon’s ears and he could make fun of Sehun for choosing such words. But that had made Junmyeon blush as well and his knees shamelessly start getting all weak.

“We will talk about this. Afterwards.” Junmyeon states, giving him his most serious look.

“Afterwards.” Sehun promises, his eyes glinting in glee as he finally leads him inside Junmyeon’s bedroom.

Junmyeon lets him have his way with him, which is a good idea because Sehun knows what to do. Always. And maybe that’s why Junmyeon can’t get mad at him. It’s like Sehun makes up for it everytime he fucks him. He can feel his apology without the need for him to say it and it always feels so good that more often than not, any fight they have seems to be forgotten.

But not this time. No sooner had they finish, Junmyeon sits up in bed and brings up the food trucks again. Sehun is coming down from his post-coital orgasm which Junmyeon proudly did with his own mouth.

“What about it?” Sehun asks, still not conceding defeat and wiping Junmyeon’s cheek with his thumb. Junmyeon grabs a few wet-wipes from the bedside table to clean them both up.

“You were driving attention to us.” Junmyeon gets right to the point.

“And how was I doing that?” Sehun looks up at him, hand on his head and elbow resting on the pillows. Sehun looks so long, all stretched out on his bed like that. Lean muscles line his abdomen and a trail of hair follows, leading down to his nether region. It’s a nice sight.

“Feeding everyone?” Junmyeon suggests. He focuses on the issue at hand.

“As thanks.” Sehun answers back.

“And signing each truck off with your name on them?”

“Well, it was a gift.” Sehun chuckles.

“Now everybody has been asking me who you are and how we’re related.”

“And what did you say?” Sehun asks eagerly.

“That you were a friend from other circles.” Junmyeon misses the look of disappointment that quickly passed across Sehun’s face.

“Well there you go. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, hyung.” Sehun leaves the bed to take a shower and Junmyeon is momentarily distracted by his bare ass.

“I am worrying about it.” Junmyeon chases after him, throwing the wipes on the trash. “Now they’re probably putting two and two by now and tomorrow our names are going to be in every entertainment headline.”

“Who’s ‘they’?” He hears Sehun turn on the shower.

“Everyone. Crew. Fans. Maybe even your people at the company.” Junmyeon shudders to think what would happen if word got out they were dating.

“Hyung, we’re fine. You did say I was a friend.” Sehun says over the sound of running water.

“What kind of friend would send that much support over a last day of filming?”

“I sent Jongin and his girlfriend to Paris last weekend after he landed his first huge deal. So that would be me.”

Junmyeon sighs. Of course.

“I just think this is getting way out of control.” Junmyeon stands with his back to Sehun and stares at the mirror. His reflection greets him and all Junmyeon can see is his tired anxious face.

“So what do you want to do about this?” Sehun asks.

“I’m thinking, let’s break up.”

The shower doors slide open and Sehun pokes his head out. His wet hair is matted to his face as he raises an eye at him. Sehun is so cute.

“You’re really going to do this while I’m showering?”

Junmyeon chuckles. “Finish up. I’ll break up with you later.”

They never do so. Sehun goes back to the bedroom freshly showered to find Junmyeon asleep in bed, and the thought is obviously forgotten as he settles beside him and drifts off to sleep as well.

 

 

It doesn’t stop with the food trucks, because after a week, Sehun hosts a huge party exclusively for the cast and crew in some posh club. Junmyeon was only notified on such short notice that there was no way of backing out. The only thing going through his head during the ride to the club was how he was going to explain to everyone who Sehun was. Again.

“And there was really no other day you could’ve told me about this.” Junmyeon glares at him in his seat while Sehun drives.

“Would you relax? Just stick to your story. I’m your friend, remember?”

Junmyeon groans in annoyance and fixes his sports jacket to keep himself from fidgeting too much. He can feel himself sweating in his jeans.

“No one’s going to buy that now.” He says.

Sehun pats his leg. “They will. And you look really sexy so I’m sure everyone’s going to be distracted from asking anything else anyway.”

Not that Sehun is dressed any differently. He’s simply wearing a leather jacket over a plain black tee and jeans but the effect it has on him is enough to turn heads. Which is exactly what happened when they entered the club.

But Junmyeon has to hand it to Sehun for getting things done. The party is so lit that no one even asks how Sehun and Junmyeon are related to each other. The DJ made them so busy on the dance floor and the abundant drinks made them forget. They do ask who Sehun is but a quick scroll through Instagram answered that question for them easily.

“He’s hot.” One of Junmyeon’s co-actresses say as she dances with Junmyeon while Sehun is at the bar laughing over something their director is saying. “Is he single?”

Before he can stop himself, Junmyeon ends up answering “He’s taken.”

 

 

See, here’s the problem. Junmyeon likes his life. He likes being an actor. He likes his job and the people he gets to work with. He likes his fans even though some of them are crazy.

He likes this sort of lifestyle he has. There’s nothing to tie him down to anything except his acting projects, and being in a relationship might change that. He knows the roles are going to be limited once he starts dating. He knows his name will forever be linked to someone else and vice versa. There will be rumors that Junmyeon has neither the time nor patience to deal with.

But he’s also quite protective of Sehun. He’s been with him for years and they’ve got quite a dynamic going on which Junmyeon hadn’t realize until now. They don’t live together, but they pick up after one other, that it seems like they do. They’re not in an exclusive relationship, and yet none of them even bring up or try to date anyone else. Junmyeon doesn’t know what Sehun’s reasons are. But for Junmyeon, he doesn’t want to go through the notions of dating and having sex that he knows will probably never even be as good as the one he has with Sehun.

In the end, Junmyeon knows he’s the one that ultimately has the problem. He’s selfish and he admits that.

“You know it’s not that big of a deal for you to reveal you’re dating Sehun.” Kris, his manager, says to him over a lunch meeting for a new role, which turns into an intervention because Kris seems to know Junmyeon from the inside and out and knows what’s bothering him.

“We’re not dating.” Junmyeon corrects. Kris ignores him.

“For starters, he doesn’t even run around in your circle. So there’s really not much for the tabloids to pry, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“And the fans? What would the fans say?” Junmyeon chews his vegetables nervously.

“There will probably be some hearts breaking but they’ll get over it.” Kris shrugs. Junmyeon however is not convinced. He’s had rabid fans over the years. What if they start threatening him or something. What if they hurt Sehun?

“Listen, you're not getting any younger.” Kris interrupts his thoughts.

“Gee, thanks.” Junmyeon replies sarcastically.

Kris chuckles. “What I’m saying is, why don’t you live a little? You’ve been working too hard and it’s time you should do what you want to do. Fuck the press, man.”

“This is coming from the same guy who years ago told me that image was everything and I should be wary about the press.”

“You weren’t exactly easy to deal with back then, you know.”

Junmyeon laughs knowing full well what he used to do to get on Kris’s nerves. Being a rookie was hard and he had terrible days dealing with it. He always ran off from his schedules and frequented bars every night. Sehun helped steer him away from trouble by being the best distraction.

“But you’re living a different life now. Way better than the one you had before. You’re not a rookie anymore, Junmyeon. You’re South Korea’s hottest star. I think you deserve something that makes you happy. Or in this case, someone.” Kris adds.

Junmyeon just plays with his carrots on his plate, unable to agree with that.

 

 

He can imagine it — life being with Sehun exclusively. It would be nice to casually walk down the street holding hands with Sehun and not even think twice to look behind their backs for paparazzis.

The thought is so thrilling, so comforting and nice, that it sends Junmyeon panicking on all the what ifs that follows.

Sehun doesn’t ask what’s bothering Junmyeon even though he can clearly tell there’s something wrong. Because it only leads to Junmyeon telling him what he already knows and that he’s worried about them being caught or for anyone else to know they’re together, when in fact, we’re not even together!, if he can understand Junmyeon’s point.

So Sehun doesn’t ask and Junmyeon never talks about it. Sehun doesn’t shower him with any more surprises and he behaves, much to Junmyeon’s relief.

But it’s getting hard to live every single day now with the thought of it hounding him. Junmyeon can’t relax. And because he’s smart, he decides that the ultimate way to shoo Sehun away from his life (even if he doesn’t really want to) is to become very busy.

“You want me to do what?” Kris asks over the phone when Junmyeon calls him up one day. He interrupted his breakfast meeting at some cafe and Kris is probably wondering what the fuss is all about.

“Sign me up in every role that’s open.” Junmyeon repeats. He knows Kris signed him up for a web drama but that’s only ten episodes and he needs a new schedule as soon as possible.

“What about that rumored big shot casting call for an action movie in Busan? Or that ad series for Dior Homme in Dubai?” Junmyeon suggests.

“Let me see what I can do. But you already have a project lined up.”

That’s not enough. There’s going to be some kind of break in between his schedules and he doesn’t want to be free. He wants to keep himself occupied.

“I know. Just try and sign me up for anything, okay? What do you think about me doing porn?”

Junmyeon can hear Kris choke on his coffee from the other end of the line.

“Are you okay?” Kris asks in between gasps.

“I should be the one asking you that.” Junmyeon replies, a bit guilty that he caused him a slight accident.

“I am not signing you up for porn.”

Junmyeon sighs. “I was just asking. Just hook me up with a project.”

Kris thinks his friend just lost his mind as he ends that call.

 

 

His manager gets things done though because Junmyeon finds himself in five projects all due in two months. It’s a tight schedule but Junmyeon makes it work.

He gets up at four in the morning for hair and make-up. And then he drives himself to his first shoot which lasts depending on how things go. If he gets off early he heads to the next one and the next one eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in between set calls. He gets home around two in the morning just enough for a quick sleep.

He doesn’t see Sehun. Or when he does he’s a lump in the sheets where he slept over waiting for him or he’s in the couch dozing off. If he is, Junmyeon just nudges him awake and they trot off to bed where they’re both too tired to do anything but sleep.

Work becomes a nice distraction. Junmyeon doesn’t feel that bubbling pressure between him and Sehun anymore. Until of course Sehun decides to ruin it.

He’s in between sets when Junmyeon found Sehun in his trailer chatting with his make-up and coordi crew. By then everyone knew he was Junmyeon’s non-actor friend who visits him from time to time. He’s in his work suit which meant he just left work to come down and see him. Sehun charmed them with his smile and laugh and managed to convince them to join him for galbitang across the set. “It’s only going to be for 15 minutes” He explained. Junmyeon had no choice but to join them just to keep a watchful eye on Sehun in case he blurts out anything.

There’s also that filming in Dubai where Junmyeon was glad to be away from him for a week (though he wouldn’t admit he missed Sehun and would’ve loved to take him to the top of Burj Khalifa for a drink). His schedule went as planned and then one night, Sehun just picked him up out of the blue after filming to take him out to dinner as if Seoul was just a block away. Junmyeon had ranted about how unnecessary he was being, but also couldn’t help but hide how giddy that made him felt. And yes, Junmyeon did take him out for drinks afterwards at the Burj Khalifa.

And then there were the coffee deliveries. The late night snacks. Junmyeon doesn’t know how Sehun got a hold of his schedule but he always knew when the right time to video call him so he always manages to catch him off guard and Junmyeon has no choice but to answer and talk to him because he has no other reason to avoid his call. It didn’t matter what timezone he was in. Sehun was always there.

The other night, Junmyeon came home and there’s a masseuse waiting for him. “A treat from Mr. Oh Sehun” the masseuse explained. Junmyeon couldn’t send the girl away so he gave in. Which turned out to be a trap because once the masseuse left him all cozy and pliant, Sehun had arrived, casually asked about his day and then joined him in bed where Junmyeon gave in to some really good, slow and lazy romp in the sheets.

“You didn’t have to do all that.” Junmyeon murmured to him after, half his consciousness already in dreamland.

“Oh I know. But I wanted to. Between the two of us, you’re the one with the erratic schedule.” Sehun replied, yawning and nuzzling his face in the crook of Junmyeon’s shoulder. “Besides, I like making time for you.”

Junmyeon realized all his efforts to keep himself busy had been in vain when he can succumb so easily to this. In the end, all he can do is grumble silently in response.

 

 

The casting call for that action movie turned out to be legit and Junmyeon lands the lead role after two auditions. The shoot pushes through and before they know it, the movie is set for release.

Sehun has somehow gotten an invite to the premiere so it was only natural that he came with Junmyeon. Naturally, Junmyeon frets and Sehun tells him to relax. He won’t walk the red carpet with him and he’ll meet him inside the theater. Which turns out to be a good thing because Sehun looks so handsome in a grey and red ensemble that several agencies were handing their cards out to him and asking him if he wanted to model. Sehun looks so gorgeous, hair styled and sleeves rucked to his elbows, and for a fleeting moment Junmyeon wanted to walk out again with him this time just for the media to capture how handsome his date is.

“Why did you look this hot for tonight?” Junmyeon can’t help but compliment him as they take their seats inside the theater.

“It is a premiere night. I didn’t want to look underdressed.” Sehun reasons. “And because a top star should have a hot looking date.” He then winks at Junmyeon and Junmyeon thanks the heavens the theater decided to dim the lights right at that moment so he had a chance to slap Sehun’s side causing him to stifle his laugh.

The movie is intense and Junmyeon has to hand it to the director for piecing things together. They had filmed in Busan and Junmyeon enjoyed being able to do an action project again. He spent most of his time there and Sehun was flying in and out every week to see him. As always, another unnecessary trip but Sehun kept telling him it was nothing.

He completely forgot that there would be a short sex scene. It wasn’t the most important part of the plot and Junmyeon never really thought to share that information with Sehun since it was part of his work. But as Junmyeon checked on him, he was surprised to find him so fixated on it. Sehun’s brow is furrowed as he watches Junmyeon half naked as he crawls over his leading lady and pinning her down the bed.

“Are you alright?” Junmyeon asks him afterwards as Sehun drives them home. They had gone to the afterparty but decided to leave early. Junmyeon had an early call time for another project so that had been a good excuse to go home.

“Hmm?” Sehun responds, eyes still on the road. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Doesn’t look like it.” Junmyeon replies.

Sehun looks at him for a moment and then focuses his eyes back on the road.

“I’m just kind of keeping it together until we get home, I guess.”

“Keeping what together?” Junmyeon asks, noticing that Sehun’s grip on the wheel is tight.

“That my boyfriend is one hell of an action star,” Sehun says, a proud grin on his face.

“I’m not your boyfriend.” Junmyeon interjects. Sehun ignores that part as usual.

“And how it’s been a really long time since he fucked me like that.”

Junmyeon doesn’t have to ask which one he meant.

The thought of switching has Junmyeon excited and he suddenly feels the air inside the car, though air conditioned, suddenly all warm. He hasn’t fucked Sehun in a long while since they both like their current arrangement anyway and the thought of Sehun all spread out for him is a glorious sight.

“I’m trying not to break all the speeding rules here just so we can get home fast.” Sehun says, voice thick and heavy with lust. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all.” Junmyeon answers, wanting Sehun to drive faster.

They don’t make it at home though. Not even through the front door. They’re always impatient when it comes to each other that they end up scrambling in the back seat of Sehun’s Mercedes as soon as they arrive. They park somewhere in the back where Sehun starts riding Junmyeon. It’s a funny sight to have him all hunched over when the ceiling is so low. But with Junmyeon’s fingers all lubed up in Sehun’s ass and Sehun filling the car with his sighs, the low ceiling seems to be the least of their concerns.

“Why do you have a bottle of lube stashed in your car?” Junmyeon asks breathlessly as Sehun’s sinks down on him. Junmyeon grabs a hold of the seat just so he doesn’t thrust up at how heavenly Sehun’s ass feels like around his cock.

“For times like these.” Sehun explains. He gives a small laugh that comes off as a hiccup and Junmyeon brings him down for a kiss at how cute he is.

“Fuck me hard, hyung.” Is Sehun’s last words. Junmyeon forgets for a moment that he’s not supposed to give in to this. That he’s not supposed to want Sehun like this.

But old habits die hard and Junmyeon does as he wishes.

 

 

“You have three appointments in over the course of the week.” Kris looks up from his phone at Junmyeon. “I’m cancelling them.”

Junmyeon thought he heard Kris wrong.

“What? Why?”

“Why? Look at you.” Kris motions to him as if Junmyeon is blind. “Have you taken a good look at yourself?”

Junmyeon checks himself in response. There’s nothing wrong with him. Okay, maybe his shirt is a bit loose. All his shirts are like that these days. Or how he’s gotten so pale lately. And he can hear his stomach rumbling from having to miss out lunch but that’s not such a problem. He can just drink coffee at the meeting and he’ll be fine.

“You’re sick.” Kris states. “When was the last time you got any rest?”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes at him. He’s fine. He’s not sick. A little feverish maybe but he’ll sleep it off in between sets. Kris has gotten him a driver and that’s the purpose of having one: so he can take a break in between travelling to and fro.

“You need a day off. Hell, take the week off.” Kris says. Junmyeon doesn’t like that.

Ever since that movie premiere night where Junmyeon fucked Sehun in his car, things have gotten a lot worse. The need to see Sehun every single day is so strong that Junmyeon finds himself signing up for more projects. Kris has been filling his schedule up nicely. But it’s not enough. Sehun is still there, squeezing his way into every schedule, squeezing his way into his life, that it’s driving Junmyeon crazy. He wants him. But Junmyeon knows nothing good is going to come out of this relationship.

“What are you talking about?” Junmyeon snorts but ends up coughing. “I’m fine.”

Kris eyes him. ‘Whatever. Just get your ass back home. I’ll deal with your meeting myself.”

Kris turns around to leave. They’re in the studio’s parking lot and Junmyeon follows after him.

“Come on, Kris. It’s just three meetings. I can see to them myself.”

“Yeah right.” Kris scoffs. “Those meetings last for hours, Junmyeon. And with Byun Baekhyun as the director in one of them, you can bet there’s going to be more chitchat than actual shit getting done. Why don’t you just- Junmyeon?” Kris turns to look at him and his eyes widen. “Junmyeon!”

Junmyeon doesn’t understand why the ground is spinning and before he knows it, he’s falling and everything turns black.

 

 

Something cold is pressing into his chest. Junmyeon ignores it until he feels it again and again. He grumbles, wishing whatever it was to stop.

“I think he’s coming around.”

Junmyeon slowly opens his eyes and sees a doctor winding his stethoscope around his neck and smiling down at him. Beside him is Sehun with his hands crossed against his chest, a grimace painted on his face. Outside he can hear Kris talking on the phone.

He doesn’t have the strength to ask what’s going on so he lies there in what he recognizes is his bed in his room as Sehun and the doctor discuss his health.

Overfatigue. Nothing serious. Just some bed rest and hot soup. Food. No coffee. Lots of water. And a week’s worth of sleep.

The doctor leaves just as Kris enters. Kris gives him the same look Sehun is giving him and Junmyeon burrows further down the covers as if that can keep them from staring at him like that.

“Did he hear what the doctor just said?” Kris asks Sehun.

“Every single bit, I hope.” Sehun sighs, sitting down next to Junmyeon’s side, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

“Good.” Kris turns to look at him. “I’ve moved all your schedules to next week.”

Junmyeon sits up at that. Sehun wraps an arm around him to help him but Junmyeon shrugs him off.

“A doctor, seriously?” Junmyeon says to him. “I told you guys I’m fine.”

“You passed out in the middle of the street.” Kris exclaims. “There are photos of you in every social media platform. Your face is headlining Naver.”

Junmyeon doesn’t have to ask what that means for his entertainment company. Fans are going to get angry and start blaming the company for his health which Junmyeon brought on himself. He’s going to get Kris in trouble and it’s all his fault.

“I’m sorry.” Junmyeon apologizes. He really is sorry and Kris only nods in reply. Junmyeon can tell he’s angry at him.

“Your projects can wait a week.” Kris adds. “But right now you need rest and Sehun here has kindly offered to take care of you while you’re stuck at home.”

Junmyeon can’t believe this is happening. He doesn’t want a week with Sehun. He needs a week of work. He’s about to object when Kris throws him a look.

“I swear to god Junmyeon you better rest up or I’ll cuff you in bed myself.”

Sehun sees Kris outside while Junmyeon stays in bed. He’s already dreading all this free time. He shouldn’t have pushed himself. It was his fault. Now Kris is going to face a lot of hell from the office. Junmyeon is already thinking of ways he’s going to make it up to him somehow.

Sehun returns with a tray of food, water and medicine. Junmyeon obediently takes them.

“Kris is just looking out for you.” Sehun says to him.

“I know.” Junmyeon mumbles. He only notices just now that Sehun is in his work suit and it’s only two in the afternoon. That means he got off work in the middle of it just to take care of him like this. Junmyeon feels bad all over again at having to disrupt people’s lives with his own drama.

“The doctor is going to visit you again in three days.”

Junmyeon sighs. “Sehun, you heard the man. It’s just overfatigue. It’s nothing.”

“You fainted. It’s a good thing Kris was there to break your fall.” Sehun replies.

“I don’t really need a doctor. I’ll just sleep it off. I’ll be back in good shape in around 3 days.”

Sehun leaves his bed and takes the tray from him. He places it on his desk and just stands there to look at him. Junmyeon wishes he’d go. Having him around just makes him feel like he’s causing him an inconvenience.

“What were you thinking?” Sehun asks. “Kris talked to me about you piling up your schedules. He wasn’t even booking you up for anything anymore.”

“Sehun, now is not the time.” Junmyeon replies tiredly.

“So when is the time to talk about it, huh? When you’re down in a ditch somewhere again?”

Junmyeon glares at him. Why is he angry at him?

“I don’t know what you’re mad about.”

Sehun presses his lips in a fine line before replying. “Hyung, you haven’t had anything to eat and drink except coffee in the last 72 hours. Clearly there’s a problem here you’re not telling me.”

Junmyeon’s head is pounding. He wants to sleep. Why can’t Sehun just go away?

“I don’t want to talk about this.” He says under his breath as he fixes his blankets.

“Come to think of it, you’ve been so busy when you don’t have to be. What’s going on, hyung?”

“Nothing.” Junmyeon answers. “Can we please just drop it?”

“No, we’re not.” Sehun says sternly. “Just talk to me, hyung. Why is that so hard for you to do?”

Junmyeon hates the way Sehun is talking to him. Like he’s a little kid who can’t handle his own problems and needs help.

“It’s not hard. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Hyung,” Sehun sighs. “How is this relationship going to work when we’re not even going to talk about a simple thing like this?”

Junmyeon has had enough.

“What relationship?” Junmyeon snaps. “What kind of relationship do you think this is?”

Sehun looks taken aback by that and Junmyeon absolutely hates the way he looks hurt.

“You think this was going somewhere?”

“Hyung… I thought…”

“You thought what?”

“I always thought… you were just kidding around.” Sehun looks like he still doesn’t get it.

Junmyeon scoffs. “Well I wasn’t, Sehun. This little thing we have going on is not what you think it is.”

“Hyung…”

“All I’ve done for the past few months is avoid you. Did you still not get that?” Junmyeon’s head hurts.

“Wait a minute,” Sehun eyes him. “All that schedule, you overworking...is this why you’re taking up so many projects? To get rid of me?”

Junmyeon’s tongue feels like it’s glued to the back of his mouth and he can’t say another thing. But he has to. This is his chance to break things off with him and he’s going to see this to the end. This is what he always wanted to do.

“Yes.” He answers. Junmyeon tries not to flinch at how Sehun looks like he was slapped in the face by that.

“Was anything even real?” He asks.

Yes, his head screams. But Junmyeon can’t answer that out loud either.

“No.” He says instead. Sehun just stands there looking at the ground. Junmyeon feels like punching himself for doing this to him.

He’s trying to end things now. But why doesn’t it feel right?

Sehun shakes his head and then gives a small laugh. Listening to it hurts. It sounds empty.

“Well, I’m not going to let you kill yourself all because of me.” Sehun takes his jacket off the chair by his bedside table. “I can see that your career matters so much to you so let’s just stop this now.”

Junmyeon nods. His head hurts so bad.

Sehun opens the door and turns to give him one last look. Junmyeon doesn’t hold his gaze at all.

“Do take care of yourself.” He says one last time before he leaves.

Junmyeon was wrong. It wasn’t his head that was hurting as he buries himself under the covers.

It was his heart and he has no one to blame for the ache but himself.

 

 

Either the gods are playing with him because Junmyeon finds himself in new drama lead roles all in romance with sad endings, or Kris is just giving him a lesson by booking him up with such projects.

Junmyeon took his one week break seriously and got that rest he needed. Even Kris was impressed and told him he was actually waiting for the tabloids to pick him up partying in some club or something.

He hasn’t heard from Sehun since. Junmyeon half expected him to come back the next day but then Junmyeon remembered the stuff he said to him. Who would want to come back to him after all that?

It’s been a month and Junmyeon is still miserable. But there’s really nothing he can do. He has his fame and fortune. He has his fans and all these projects. He’s Korea’s number one star. He wanted to keep all that. And yet, as the days go by, Junmyeon doesn’t feel like it was all worth keeping now that Sehun is gone.

“I know how good of an actor you are but all this isn’t fooling me.” Kris says to him one day. “Just go make up with him.”

Junmyeon shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. I said some things.”

“So say you’re sorry.” Kris shrugs.

“He broke things off.”

“Then put it back together again.”

They’re interrupted by a staff saying their fansign event is ready. Junmyeon can hear the fans’ cheers echoing down the hall.

Putting things back together again. Getting back with Sehun.

Junmyeon isn’t sure if the both of them wants that to happen anymore.

 

 

Because Kris is a friend, he keeps Junmyeon’s schedule packed enough so he’s busy and doesn’t feel most of the heartache. He’s careful not to let his schedules stress him out again so he books him some ad deals once his drama filming ends. Something light and short.

“You got the script I sent you a week ago, right?” Kris checks as they drive to their new filming location. Junmyeon nods. It’s an ad for a new series of condo units. Apparently these units are top of the line and built for a smart home so it was a big deal, and it needed all the marketing.

The crew has already set up. There’s a few minor things to take care of so Junmyeon is taken to hair and make-up for the meantime. His co-actress on set is running the script with him when Junmyeon finds a familiar face walking towards him.

“Kim Junmyeon. I’m so glad you can come and do this.”

Junmyeon excuses himself as he shakes hands with Sehun’s secretary.

“Jongin, you don’t need to be so formal with me.” Junmyeon greets. “What are you doing here?”

“Um…” Jongin looks nervous and only then does Junmyeon realize this is the Oh Real Estate Company. He’s been hired to do an ad for Sehun’s company.

Junmyeon spots Kris across the room and glares at him. Kris meets his gaze and quickly skitters off somewhere.

“Were you in on this?” Junmyeon asks a flustered Jongin.

“Oh look! We’re almost starting! I’ve got to go.” Jongin rushes out of there and Junmyeon is slightly amused how he’s exactly like his boss when he does that.

“Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon freezes as he recognizes that voice. He turns around anyway because there are a dozen people here and it’s not very professional if he ignored him.

“Sehun.” Junmyeon breathes. Sehun is standing there so handsome in his suit and a hard hat on. With him are a bunch of people with tablets in their hands, obviously discussing floor plans before Sehun stopped to talk to him.

He had made up so many scenarios for when he’ll bump into Sehun again. He didn’t think he’d see him so soon or if their paths would cross ever again. But it was never like this, all awkward and fidgety. Junmyeon missed him and he finds himself unable to breathe properly at how close they are like this in so long.

Sehun excuses himself and his staff all disperse to leave him and Junmyeon alone.

“You’re never on site.” Junmyeon says. He knew Sehun doesn’t really spend much of his time going to every building they’re constructing. It wasn’t his job. He had enough on his plate handling everything at his main office.

“I’m all over the place now. I needed to be busy to…” Sehun doesn’t finish his sentence but Junmyeon knows what he means anyway.

“Are you… Okay now?” Sehun asks as they walk towards the filming site. Junmyeon remembers the state Sehun last saw him.

“Yeah. Kris is working on my schedules so I haven’t been fooling around and signing up for things I can’t handle.” Junmyeon gives an awkward laugh.

“That’s great to hear.”

It’s awkward. But nice. Junmyeon can’t explain it but having Sehun around makes his stomach flutter in nervousness and in want.

“I’m sorry. For last time.” Junmyeon says. “I was being…”

“Honest?” Sehun suggests.

In a way. “Something like that.” Junmyeon replies.

They’re quiet and Junmyeon wonders if Sehun truly did forgive him. He did say pretty awful things to him.

Someone passes by carrying props and Sehun holds Junmyeon back to let the crewman pass. Junmyeon falls back into his arms reflexively but then stiffens when he realizes what just happened.

Sehun steps back at once and gives him space.

“Sorry,” He mutters. Junmyeon just nods in response.

“You don’t have to pay me, you know.” Junmyeon says to him as they continue to walk. “I can advertise for you for free.”

Sehun chuckles. Junmyeon missed seeing his eyes crinkle like that.

“I have to pay you. Kris needs to be employed.” He explains. Junmyeon chuckles as well.

Their conversation is short. Junmyeon is called on set. Sehun doesn’t leave. He lingers with Jongin around to watch him. All the while, his eyes never leave Junmyeon and Junmyeon messes up his lines a few times. He wished Sehun would leave so he can concentrate. But he also likes that Sehun stayed to watch him.

They wrap up just as the sun is setting. They managed to take all the shots they need indoors and outdoors. Sehun invites him and Kris for dinner but Junmyeon lies and says he has another shoot to do. Kris doesn’t say anything to which Junmyeon is grateful for.

“Thank you for doing the ad.” Sehun says. Junmyeon just nods and steers Kris to the parking lot before he suggests anything else.

“Why didn’t you say yes to dinner?!” Kris exclaims as they drive back to the city.

“I didn’t want to.” Junmyeon answers. “We’ve broken up, remember?”

“Really? Because it didn’t seem like you two were over each other.”

Junmyeon pretends he hadn’t heard that at all.

 

 

Fine. He misses Sehun. He misses him so much that Junmyeon can’t think straight because all he can think about is how everything used to be and how he fucked that over for his own selfish reasons.

How do you even get over someone you’ve been with for years?! Junmyeon shouldn’t have let that go on for so long if he wasn’t going to keep it. He admits that it was his fault. But things are over now and Junmyeon promises to move on.

But he needs one last time to reminisce. Because he can’t deal with just the acting stints anymore. Or just chilling at home after a long day of filming to keep himself preoccupied. He caves. He needs a taste of Sehun without actually calling him up. He’s not that weak.

Junmyeon drives to the club where they first met. It’s been years but he figures it should still be there. He’s decked in black with a pair of glasses on and a cap. It’s a weekday so no one should recognize him.

He takes a taxi to the club and breathes a sigh of relief when he sees it. The club looks the same but upgraded with more neon lights and the bars and stools designed differently. It’s not exactly packed for the night. Not yet, Junmyeon guesses. It’s still quite early.

He takes a seat on the far end of the bar and orders a drink. Junmyeon doesn’t notice how tense he is as he finally takes a sip and the alcohol makes him relax. He hasn’t been to any of these places in years. Junmyeon tries to blend right in and enjoy the music from where he’s seated.

He hasn’t had too much to drink but he can swear he spotted Sehun on the dancefloor. Junmyeon watches a little hopeful that it’s him and he isn’t some figment of his imagination although he’s not sure what to do if it really is him. He’s still not ready to meet him again even if all he can think about is being so close to him one more time.

Junmyeon takes another sip, the beat of the music pounding in his ears and the alcohol buzzing in his body. The imaginary Sehun on the dancefloor is a hot work of art in just a jacket and a pair of black jeans. Junmyeon is sure this is his imagination because Sehun never dresses like this anymore. Things have changed so much since then. They’ve both grown. Matured. Well, Sehun has. Junmyeon is glad this club is still here just so he can drown himself in the past.

His imaginary Sehun dances so fluidly just how the real Sehun dances. That’s what attracted Junmyeon to him all those years ago. How confident he was on the dancefloor and how lost he was in his own world. It didn’t matter what the DJ was playing. He owned those moves like it was the most natural thing for him to do.

Junmyeon gets up from his seat. Maybe he should dance. That would make imaginary Sehun laugh. He’s not the best dancer out there. But Sehun always found that amusing. Junmyeon remembers Sehun calling his dance cute. That always made him blush. Maybe they can have some fun out there. Just the two of them.

Some guy enters his view and Junmyeon snaps out of it as he realizes his imaginary Sehun is real and he’s dancing with someone. The guy seems to be about older than Sehun. He’s tall. Taller than Sehun that the boy has to look up at him and give him that smile he always does whenever he flirts with Junmyeon.

Junmyeon watches all this, his heart breaking about a dozen times before he decides to head home. So much for reminiscing. But before he can leave, his eyes meet Sehun’s. Junmyeon doesn’t move for a second before realizing he’s caught. When he does so, he turns back to the bar, fumbles to put his drink back on the table and pays clumsily, tossing his bills over the counter. He rushes out of there and just when he thought he can make it past the door, someone grabs his arm and spins him around. Junmyeon’s breath catches in his throat as he comes face to face with Sehun.

“You don’t fool me with that get up.” He says. Junmyeon’s heart is hammering in his chest at the close proximity.

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asks.

“What, I can’t be here?” Junmyeon scoffs. “You’re here and I’m not asking why.”

Junmyeon isn’t sure why he’s suddenly so pissed. Sehun hasn’t said anything horrible. So why is Junmyeon asking this way?

Sehun lowers his gaze at him. “Then ask me. Ask me why I’m here.”

Junmyeon swallows. The door is so close and he can make it if he runs. “No. I have to go.”

Junmyeon turns but Sehun still has a tight grip on him to stop him from leaving.

“I’m here because I missed you.” Sehun says. Junmyeon’s not sure if he’s still imagining things. His heart skips a beat as he heard that. There’s a hint of longing in Sehun’s voice and god does Junmyeon miss that face and his towering figure.

“I’ve been here every night since we broke up.” Sehun says, softly now.

“Yeah? With different dance partners I presume.” Junmyeon replies, bitterness heavy in his own voice.

“Why do you care, hyung?”

Junmyeon bites on his bottom lip before replying.

“I don’t.” Junmyeon shakes his head. “Forget it.”

He shakes off Sehun’s grip on him and leaves but Sehun is there blocking him from going through those doors. Junmyeon glares at him.

“Tell me, why do you care?” Sehun asks again. Junmyeon can give him a dozen reasons why but holds himself back from blurting them all out.

Suddenly, warm hands cup his face and Junmyeon is startled for a moment by this.

“I missed you.” Sehun whispers and even in the loud club, Junmyeon understood what he just said. “I missed you, hyung.”

Junmyeon wants to cave. His knees tremble and he wants to throw himself in his arms.

“And you’re here, just like that night all those years ago. This can’t just be coincidence.”

Junmyeon feels like protesting but he can’t. Not when Sehun is suddenly kissing him.

He stills for the tiniest moment, wondering if what’s happening is real. He feels giddy and light. He feels secured. He wants this and he finally lets go of everything he’s been holding back and allows himself to be taken. For this kiss. For Sehun to hold all of him again.

Junmyeon opens up for him, letting Sehun’s tongue ravage him as his hands clutch at Sehun’s back. Sehun responds by hooking his arms under his legs and pinning him to the wall next to the door. Junmyeon grunts at the impact but loves the feeling of being taken like this again. Someone yells at them to get a room and they part just quick enough for Sehun to lead him to the bathroom.

They renovated the bathroom, thank god. Sehun carries him like he weighs nothing and plops him down the counter. Junmyeon brings his face back to him, kissing him with such fervor that he moans in appreciation when Sehun bites his bottom lip.

Junmyeon hooks his legs around Sehun’s, bringing their bodies close. Sehun wastes no time in reaching inside his shirt to unzip his jeans. Junmyeon’s not sure but he can hear himself telling Sehun to hurry. He’s too wound up and needs him for release.

The want that’s building up inside him isn’t just for sex, something Junmyeon always feels when Sehun takes him. It’s his touch and his lips on his skin. It’s the fact that it’s not some guy in here with him, pulling his pants down and nuzzling his face in his abdomen. It’s Sehun and it always has been Sehun who makes him feel wanted like this.

Junmyeon gasps as Sehun’s mouth engulfs him. He throws his head back and grabs a firstful of his hair. His legs are no longer wound around him but folded and stiff as Sehun holds him while he bobs his head up and down his cock.

The lewd sound of what they’re doing echoes the bathroom walls. Junmyeon has tears in his eyes from trying not to come too soon. He can feel it in his groin, twisting up his insides and Sehun’s tongue is doing nothing to quell that insatiable thirst for release. Junmyeon doesn’t swallow his moans. He shamelessly fills the bathroom with his own whimpers and pleas. Sehun is coaxing him with his mouth to come and when Junmyeon finally does so, he pushes Sehun away and watches as white spurts down his cheek.

It’s been awhile since he came that hard. Both his head and his heart are pounding. He’s in such a messed up state and Junmyeon is all sorts of embarrassed. He reaches for the tissue roll by the sink and hastily cleans Sehun up.

“Hyung,” Sehun breathes. He looks blissed out and Junmyeon sees he has his other hand on his own cock. White is spilling from the corners of his palm where he had been fisting himself and came when Junmyeon probably did.

Junmyeon’s heart is suddenly pounding a different way. It’s not from the post orgasmic haze but the realization of what they just did. Junmyeon scrambles to get off the counter and put his pants on. All the while, Sehun wonders what’s up with him. Junmyeon mutters out a “sorry” before pushing Sehun out of his way as he leaves the bathroom.

“Hyung, wait!” Junmyeon hears him but chooses to ignore him as he makes a mad dash to the club’s main doors.

Fuck fuck fuck. Junmyeon curses under his breath over and over again. That was not supposed to happen. He was supposed to get over Sehun. Now he’s back to square one and he’s never going to get over him at this point.

Junmyeon finally manages to reach the exits. Luckily enough there’s an empty cab and he hails it. He gets in just before Sehun barges out the door. Junmyeon sinks in his seat and watches him frantically look around for him. The driver asks him where he’s headed and all Junmyeon can say is go.

“Go? Go where?” The driver asks pulling out of the street.

“Home.” Junmyeon says, heart still beating out if his chest.

“And where is that?”

For a second, Junmyeon doesn’t answer. He just silently sits there watching Sehun disappear out of his sight.

 

 

Sehun is an insistent fool. After that night, he’s been trying to contact Junmyeon so Junmyeon does what he can to keep Sehun away. He has Sehun blocked from his phone. He’s changed locks on his door in his condo since Sehun still has the keys to his place. He stays out most of the time just in case Sehun decides to visit him too. Kris tells him Sehun has been asking about him non stop but Junmyeon makes sure his manager doesn’t tell him anything, not even his work schedule. If no one else knew what the whole thing was about they’d think Junmyeon had some crazy stalker out there.

“You’re being overdramatic, don’t you think?” Kris says to him. He is. But what else can he do.

Junmyeon regrets ever going to that club in the first place. He wanted him that night. Not just for a quick fuck or a temporary release. He wanted him in all sorts of way. He wanted Sehun’s whole presence in his life. Junmyeon couldn’t imagine anyone else filling that hole Sehun left in his heart. And yet Junmyeon is still so selfish to do anything about it.

He’s also sure he ruined things between them now and he can’t understand why Sehun still wants to talk to him. It must be to say ugly things and even though Junmyeon knows Sehun isn’t capable of saying them, he’s still scared to face the truth: that Sehun might not want him and he’ll only confirm it once he sees him again.

Junmyeon buries himself in his scripts and takes every single moment of his free time just memorizing his lines so that he doesn’t think about Sehun and this stupid ordeal. He’s so miserable and pathetic. Junmyeon hates himself for it.

He’s at home when Kris calls him saying he sent pizza over and he expects him to eat the entire pie. Junmyeon hasn’t been eating well again and Kris is worried he’s going to pass out anytime soon.

“I’ll eat the whole thing if you just stop watching over me like a hawk.” Junmyeon grumbles as he goes to the door to get it.

“If I won’t, who will?” Kris replies. “Anyway, it’s pepperoni. Isn’t that your favorite?”

Junmyeon just chuckles in reply. His manager really knows how to cheer him up. He’s been more like his friend over the years now that he probably even knows Junmyeon way better than himself.

Before Junmyeon can reply, he opens the door to find the delivery guy with his pizza is no other than Sehun.

“How the fuck?” Junmyeon backs off. Sehun is in a delivery outfit balancing a box of pizza in one hand.

“Eat the damn pizza and talk to the boy. Please.” Kris says before ending the call.

Junmyeon stares at Sehun. He shouldn’t be here. His heart is racing as he stares at him with the delivery cap pulled low over his face. Junmyeon is really going to kill Kris when he sees him tomorrow. He can tell he put Sehun up to this.

Sehun tips his cap upwards to look at him. “I had to switch outfits with the delivery guy just so I can get in here. Do you hate me that much that you even alerted security not to let me in?”

Somewhere out there, a guy is probably happy he got a tailored suit. Junmyeon thinks that to himself as he tries to act cool.

“Sehun, you’re in my house.” He states the obvious just as Sehun steps through the door.

“We need to talk.”

Junmyeon doesn’t think he can handle this. He takes the pizza box and places them on the nearest table so that’s out of the way. He then starts reaching for the door behind Sehun so he can leave.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Now if you would just leave-”

“I needed to see you.” Sehun cuts. “And talk to you. Because clearly, none of us are over the other.”

Junmyeon is surprised for a moment. Wasn’t Sehun mad at him? He should be over him. Sehun shouldn’t be saying those things.

“Have you been talking to Kris?” Junmyeon asks.

Sehun sighs. “I have been asking him if I can speak to you which he wouldn’t let me. Until now. Because he said you’ve been miserable.”

He’s really going to kill Kris. Tonight.

“Look, I don’t know where you got this information because I’m over you.” Junmyeon replies.

Sehun raises an eye at him. Junmyeon feels his cheeks redden at that like he doesn’t even believe every word of it. He takes a step back as Sehun inches forward.

“I am over you.” Junmyeon says again, trying to convince not only Sehun but also himself.

“Well I’m not. I’m not over you. I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

“Sehun, stop.” He needs him to stop. Junmyeon doesn’t want to listen to any of it. Because Sehun is saying things he wants him to hear and Junmyeon doesn’t want to fall for any of it.

“No, hyung. You have to listen. I’ve been with a lot of people but there’s always something about you that I can never figure out.” Sehun breathes. “At first I thought if it was the money. That I was just simply attracted to the money. But it wasn’t that. Because I obviously have enough money and I always end up spending more for you because I want to.”

Junmyeon backs away from him but Sehun doesn’t stop.

“And then I thought maybe it was because of the face. You’re the prettiest guy I’ve been with. The most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So it had to be your face. But then I’ve seen you drooling in your sleep at 3 am after a tiring shoot. I’ve seen you without make-up covering all those dark eyes. I’ve seen you in every ridiculous outfits your films need you to do. And I’m still so attracted to you.”

“Sehun…” Junmyeon doesn’t want to hear this.

“So I thought about it long and hard.” Sehun continues anyway. “And hyung, it’s just you. The way you dance awkwardly around the kitchen when we’re cooking breakfast for lunch. Or how you give this small quiet sigh after every single time I kiss you like I’m your taste of water in a fucking desert. Or like how you cry about the smallest and silliest movies we’ve ever watched.”

Junmyeon stops backing up now. Sehun hasn’t gone any closer, giving him his space.

“You can add in the sex too. No one can get me hard all the damn time like you-

“Okay, that’s enough.” Junmyeon hates him. He hates Sehun for saying all these things. Because it makes Junmyeon want him to stay.

Sehun takes a deep breath.

“I want to be with you. You make me want to spend every waking day with you. Do you not feel all this at all? Do you not feel the same things I do?”

Junmyeon has. He’s felt it every single day.

But…

Junmyeon thinks of his career again. He thinks of what he went through to get to where he is at the moment. He has to choose between Sehun and his job if he wants to make things work. And he may be heartless, but his job is also everything to him.

“I’m sorry.” Junmyeon apologizes. “It’s just that…. Sehun it’s difficult.”

“What is?” Sehun says, his soft voice coaxing him to say all the selfish things he’s been keeping,

“It’s embarrassing.” Junmyeon says.

Sehun only smiles. “Try me.”

Junmyeon says the first thing that comes into his head.

“I didn’t want you to be a secret anymore.”

Sehun takes a few seconds to reply. “Well, I did like being a secret. It made everything more… thrilling.”

“Yeah, but it was hard you know? Because half of me wanted to let people know I was dating this awesome guy and then half of me wants to keep you from the rest of the world. Because I was being selfish and I thought that being in a relationship would damage my acting career.”

There. He said it. Junmyeon feels bile rise up in his throat the moment he said all of it.

“What? Like, dating me won’t get you roles or anything?” Sehun asks.

“Something like that.” Junmyeon cringes. It sounds silly. But it’s the truth. “Sehun, it’s just hard, alright? I like you. But our worlds… they’re too far apart. You’re better off with someone who can be with you in a serious relationship.”

Sehun crosses his arms in front of him. “And what does being in a serious relationship mean to you.”

“Well, spending everyday with each other. Eating together. Having sex. Going on dates. All that obvious stuff.” Junmyeon throws his hands in the air like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Hyung,” Sehun smiles. “We’ve been doing that for years. What makes doing it now any different?”

Junmyeon blinks at him. They have.

He not only feels so selfish but he’s suddenly feeling stupid. Why hadn’t he realized that the only thing lacking was labeling things? They were already doing things every couple did. Sehun was doing that for him. Sehun was already easing him into it. What harm would taking things up a notch possibly do?

But the fans… His career...

He’s suddenly pulled in a warm embrace and Junmyeon’s arms hug him back. He wants to fight him off but every bone in his body just wants to cling to him.

“Maybe I was just scared to have someone like you. You know, someone too good to be true.” Junmyeon says against his chest.

“Hyung, that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Junmyeon laughs with him. It feels good. It feels nice being held like this and laughing with him.

“Are we good?” Sehun asks. He still hasn’t let go of him and frankly, Junmyeon doesn’t want him to.

“I’m not sure. There’s still my work. And the fans-“

“Forget about that for a second. Do you want us to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon answers. He wants them to be okay so bad.

“Are you even willing to try?” Sehun asks him. Junmyeon is already thinking about the press release if he ever manages to go out publicly with Sehun. He’s still scared. But somehow, he’s already a little braver.

“Yeah.” He’s brave enough to try.

“Can we still go on dates, spend everyday with each other, have sex and all those obvious stuff?”

Junmyeon laughs and nods in his embrace.

Sehun pulls him back so they can both look at each other.

“Hyung, can I be your boyfriend?”

Can he? It would make things better. Junmyeon doesn’t have to run away from his problems and it would be nice taking care of someone. And vice versa. Junmyeon can already imagine taking Sehun out and showing him around. He can imagine the dates, the paparazzis, the fans. They’ll all have to coexist in that picture no matter how impossible that may seem.

Junmyeon smiles up at him in response.

“I take that as a yes but I kinda want to hear it. You know, just so there’s no mixed signals again or whatever.” Sehun says.

“Yes!” Junmyeon laughs. Sehun beams, kissing him in glee. Junmyeon sighs into his kisses. Sehun really is a taste of water in this drought he’s been feeling.

“You really don’t have to worry about anything.” Sehun says to him. “We can still keep this a secret if you want to. I won’t mind at all. Like I said, being your dirty little secret is kind of exciting.”

“No.” Junmyeon shakes his head. “I… I think I’m ready.”

They cuddle up in the sofa afterwards balancing the box of pizza in their laps. Sehun has changed from his delivery outfit in just a pair of boxer shorts and Junmyeon’s oversized shirts which belonged to Sehun in the first place.

“So we’re going to be an old boring couple now, aren’t we?” Junmyeon says, realizing what they’re doing right now is a start.

“Yeah.” Sehun replies, leaving his crusts back on the box for Junmyeon to take. “You’ll probably get some boring dad role now.”

Junmyeon laughs. “Uhuh.” He admits.

“And that’s okay with you?” Sehun asks and Junmyeon tips his head up to kiss Sehun on the cheek in reassurance. Dad roles aren’t so bad.

“It’s completely okay with me.”

 

 

Of course Junmyeon doesn't get just a dad role. In fact, when he announced on his social media account he was in a relationship with Sehun, he got even more roles he could ask for.

Kris is up to his neck with even more acting offers and Junmyeon is only glad to give him all these opportunities to meet with several movie casting calls. The idea of Junmyeon being in a relationship just got everyone’s attention and has somehow made that even more appealing to them.

The fans took it bad. But there were a lot of fans who loved him for going out publicly. They gave their blessings to him and Sehun. The worst he got was his dvd films broken and burned by fans who couldn’t take it. But the rest of it was reassuring messages and cries of relief that he wasn’t dealing with shit alone.

They go on dates. The paparazzis were everywhere. And Sehun always gave them a shot of him and Junmyeon holding hands and waving at them. Sehun was the one who loved the attention. And Junmyeon enjoyed giving him all of it.

“You’re spoiling me again.” Sehun says as they both clink their glasses and drink. It’s Sehun’s birthday. The boy just turned 26 and Junmyeon is so proud to have seen him grow through the years.

“I hardly call this spoiling.” Junmyeon refers to their dinner.

“Hyung, we’re in Paris, eating this ridiculously expensive dinner-”

“It’s your birthday and it is a delicious dinner.” Junmyeon points out.

“-And you just gave me cufflinks handcrafted by a famous designer as a gift.”

“Like you said, it’s a gift. My hot billionaire boyfriend should have it.” Junmyeon grins. “To wow clients and all.”

“Really now.” Sehun laughs. “I like this. I like you.”

“Mmhmm, I do too.” Junmyeon smiles.

Sehun stares at him and he looks so in love. Junmyeon doesn’t have to check in the mirror to know he looks the same way.

“I want to kiss you.” Sehun says.

Junmyeon leans closer to him.

“Then kiss me.”

Sehun looks over his shoulder. “I can swear one of Dispatch’s men are here.”

Junmyeon grins. “Then let’s give the poor guys something to bring back home, shall we?”

Sehun grins back, meeting Junmyeon’s lips and probably giving Dispatch their most clearest picture of a celebrity couple kissing yet.

Junmyeon doesn’t mind. Besides, Sehun isn't a dirty little secret he needs to keep anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> \- the food trucks happened. so i wanted to do this. must be nice being spoiled by sehun  
> \- always my special thanks goes to Lee for being my beta when it comes to some seho sexy times  
> \- i lied, this wasnt exactly sugar daddy au but sugar baby au i guess.


End file.
